I make a place to write about my feelings, and then I overthink my way out of writing anything. I so easily fall into the question of: "what do people want to hear about?" Obviously not cancer. Duh... Even though this place is a safe house– my safe house– for writing about things we don't nonchalantly speak about.
So, I'm going to talk about my feelings because it's far too easy to condition ourselves to believe they don't matter, or they're not important. Especially when it comes to anything that evokes their presence.
I get really annoyed with myself when I get inside my head and start to convince myself to shut up. I just want to write. I always want to write. I want to write about what I feel, how I feel about things, my perspectives, positions, opinions, my life, and how these things manifest in my brain, and why I think it's so important to be passionate. I want to write about the things people don't want to say... the conversations nobody wants to have because they're afraid somebody isn't listening, or doesn't want to hear. Or that they'll make somebody uncomfortable. When most likely, somebody or everybody else is aching to express themselves or that exact thought. Or has been waiting for somebody to relate to. And when I'm not writing, I want to talk. And I want to listen, and I want to inspire others to be open to doing the same.
That brings us to the creation of this blog. This space for me to write, for you to read, for us to dive into this unknown world together. This is my letter of accountability. Hold me accountable, and I'll hold you accountable. And we'll do something about it.
On that note, I'm just confused about the world lately. People are declaring war on each other. Bad things are happening to good people. Nothing is happening to the bad people. How do we deal with all of these thoughts and feelings? This confusion, anger, anguish, stress, anxiety? Isolation, exhaustion, bitterness, love, hatred, helplessness? How can we keep ourselves in a good place when we feel stuck and afraid, empty and dark, alone and silenced?
I don't know. I don't have these answers. But I do have ways in which I attempt to find them. One of them being this quote by Kahlil Gibran–
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Which gives me a sense of peace and comfort. I recommend you read, "The Prophet" anytime you need a sense of enlightenment, or reason, or an open door to the Universe and yourself.
I also advise you to have a cup of tea, or talk to your girlfriend, your cat, buy a finch, watch a movie... Read a book, write a poem... Call a friend, laugh. Cry. Frolic through a field of daisies. Go swimming. Just do something that makes you feel alive and reminds you that your place on this planet is important, and your feelings, thoughts, and passions are there for a reason. Let it out. There's a reason this is happening. Sunlight is out there.